ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
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