i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
