Where did you get a picture of my penis
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
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