he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Randomize
