Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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