I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Randomize
