My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
