we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Randomize
