Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Randomize
