Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Randomize
