Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
This is classic penis vs brain.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
Randomize