I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize