i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
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