her vagina looked like bernie madoff
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
