I feel like I'm in dance class right now
think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
