The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
I have aggressive nipples.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
Randomize
