She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Randomize
