Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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