I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
they need to just BURY HIM!
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize