Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Randomize
