Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
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