you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
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