peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
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