So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
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