She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Randomize
