he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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