On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize
