totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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