Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
Randomize
