i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
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