He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
