brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
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