i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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