Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
