I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
