two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
