I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
is wine microwaveable?
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
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