So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
Holy shit dude........stairs
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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