what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
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