Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize