Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
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