So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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