Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Randomize
