Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
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