Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
