Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
it's like iHOP with fire
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
Randomize
