ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
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