I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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