Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
