question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Randomize
