So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
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