Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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