After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
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