I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Randomize
