i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
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