Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Randomize
