Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
