I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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