Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
Randomize
